Melanie Explains A-Hole-ism

An addict is a person who has a disease that clouds their mind, alters the perception of their own needs and affords them terrible problem solving and decision making skills. If you think an addict is any less than that you are an asshole.

No parent anywhere saw the signs of addiction coming on with wide eyes and chose to ignore it. No parent willingly let their child become an addict or was simply not parenting or parenting poorly which caused the child to be an addict. Something may have happened to someone to make them want to use drugs but no parent anywhere made the conscious decision to ignore addiction knocking on their door and if you think addiction is the parents fault, you’re an asshole.

Mother’s everywhere will grieve for their children on Mother’s Day. Whether the child is actually deceased or not is of little relevance in the land of addiction. If your child is an addict or has died from drug addiction, Mother’s Day is an extremely hard day. If you think it will get easier over time, or the Mother has grieved too long, you’re an asshole.

If you get sick of hearing about my kid struggling with addiction and it makes you not want to talk to me or be around me, good. I don’t want to be around you anyway, because you’re an asshole.

If you don’t understand why we drop everything to run when they overdose, or ask for help it’s because you haven’t loved someone who is committing suicide the long way. You have not watched the light drain from their eyes as they move through life like the walking dead. If you can look at those cold, dead eyes and not feel sorrow for the life that is lost then you are an asshole.

If you think the heroin epidemic is exaggerated or that all “junkies” should just be put on an island to OD together (true story: heard someone actually say that) then not only are you an asshole, but you better watch out because I might throat punch you. With a meat clever. Asshole.

At times when a person doesn’t want to make plans for two months, 6 months or a year from now, it is not because they can’t commit or might get a better offer. It’s because they are afraid to spend money they might need for rehab or a funeral. It’s because they won’t enjoy themselves if things stay the same and they won’t enjoy themselves if things get worse. In other words, life is hell and they can’t plan ahead so get over it. If you can’t understand that….wait for it….you guessed it, you’re an asshole.

If you are reading this and just found out you are an asshole, then I guess you have a decision to make. You can educate yourself, learn about addiction and support a family suffering. Or you can continue on your way with your asshole-ish life. Not that I’m judging but, don’t be an asshole.


Any questions?


10 thoughts on “Melanie Explains A-Hole-ism

  1. My teaching career has been a very humbling experience. Made me realize how little I knew and how I don’t really “understand” what students are going through.

    Your crash course on asshole-ism kind of reminded me of that.


  2. Lmao! I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh but I love your edge. A big middle finger to those assholes. And a happy early Mother’s Day to you. I’m sure it’s tough but you are a hardworking momma and deserve the recognition! Xo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m thinking of you today, Melanie, on this Mother’s Day. I think you’ve handled your experience with great dignity and reason. So many of the choices you’ve had to make have been difficult ones, no doubt – but I firmly believe you’ve made the right ones. I have a lot of honour and respect for the model of motherhood that you’re holding up for the readers of your blog to see. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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